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Article about how to start making friends
10 practical tips on making friends with someone. Bethany Klynn, PhD is a coach and PhD in Industrial/Organizational Psychology. She has more than 20 years of experience in leadership development, coaching, team development, and shaping organizational cultures.
Bethany has a passion for helping leaders become successful in finding those aha moments." She loves helping individuals grow and discover how to best contribute, learn new skills, and achieve even better results. Bethany brings together the science of what happens at work and her 20 years of in-the-trenches executive experience of leading her own teams, coaching and developing leaders, and shaping organizational cultures. She's a voracious reader and loves swapping book recommendations — share some suggestions and she'll happily share some too! This article was reviewed by a subject matter expert to guarantee accuracy and depth. Content is reviewed and updated as needed to ensure it remains current and comprehensive. BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. Making friends is a skill that seems to come naturally to some people. For others, it can be more difficult. But the social skills you need to be successful can be learned. They often involve developing strong communication, active listening, and empathy. Learning these skills and practical tips on making friends can help you connect with others more easily and improve your well-being. How to become friends with someone. Getting people to like you can feel intimidating if you fear rejection or feel socially awkward when putting yourself out there. Rejection may happen sometimes, but if you make an effort, you might find yourself with a new friend. The good news is that quality is more important than quantity. Having many friends has benefits, but according to research published in Frontiers in Psychology, quality friendships are more important for your well-being than shallow friendships. These 10 tips on making friends can help you find quality friends that’ll stick. 1. Put yourself out there by joining social activities or groups. It’s a lot easier to make new friends when surrounded by new people, and that includes both online friends and in-person ones. The local gym, online games, virtual and in-person book clubs, or your kids’ school events are great opportunities to make new friends. Just showing up to one social activity could help you forge friendships. One study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology showed that seeing someone frequently can make you feel like you have something in common , even if you’ve never spoken. 2. Take initiative by starting conversations. Striking up a conversation with someone is the first step toward getting to know them. Take the initiative to start a conversation with someone new using one of these practical conversation starters: “Mind if I join you? This seems like a perfect place to relax.” “Hey, I’m trying to get familiar with the area. Is there a restaurant you’d recommend?” “I noticed we’re both waiting for [event, class, etc.]. Have you been here before?” “That looks interesting! What are you working on?” “Hi! I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m [your name].” “Hey, have you tried [item/food/coffee] here before? I’m wondering what’s good.” 3. Suggest plans to hang out or do something together. While being around someone frequently could make them open to being your friend, spending one-on-one time together could seal the deal. You don’t need to plan anything extravagant when trying to forge a new friendship. Simply hanging around the house or watching a movie together is enough. Try engaging in meaningful or deep conversations . This tip on making friends can also help strengthen your interpersonal relationships . 4. Be genuinely interested. You’re more likely to connect with people when you’re genuinely interested in their thoughts, feelings, or life experiences. When making friends with someone, discuss topics that show you’re interested in them. Here are some suggestions: “I’m always looking for good [music, books, shows]. Have any recommendations?” “That’s a cool [item they’re holding/wearing]. Is there a story behind it?” “I’ve wanted to check out [local event/place]. Have you been? Any thoughts?” “I noticed you’re into [specific thing]. I’ve been thinking of trying it. How do you like it?” One trick to showing genuine interest in someone is to respond to them quickly when they’re speaking. Research published by the psychology department of Princeton University suggests that friends and strangers feel more connected when they respond quickly and keep the conversation flowing. 5. Be vulnerable when appropriate. Just as asking about others’ thoughts, feelings, and life experiences can help forge a friendship, so can sharing your own. Opening up about something that makes you feel vulnerable, like a challenge you’re facing or a meaningful experience you had, indicates to another that you feel close to them. Research professor Brené Brown emphasizes that vulnerability plays a vital role in building trust and deepening connections. Being vulnerable can be as simple as sharing a personal struggle, like difficulty losing weight, or simply expressing conflicting emotions. 6. Share your own experiences but keep it balanced. You want to balance the conversation between talking about yourself and the other person. When carrying a conversation , sharing your experiences or advice with someone you want to befriend can help a friendship grow. But you don’t want to take over the conversation or be too pushy. Research published in Frontiers in Psychology showed that friends who support each other’s autonomy are more likely to feel their friendships are high-quality and experience subjective well-being. 7. Be approachable. Being approachable is about sending signals that invite others to interact with you. People often make snap judgments of others’ friendliness and likability based on body language and tone of voice. Specific body language, eye contact , and smiling are all ways to look and feel approachable. Here are some tips on making friends that focus on body language: Keep an open posture and avoid crossing your arms or looking distracted. Smile to signal warmth to those you’d like to befriend. Use a friendly, upbeat tone when speaking to others. 8. Find common ground or mutual hobbies. We’re naturally drawn to those who share values, hobbies , or experiences with us. Creating social goals related to hobbies, like book clubs or local sports leagues, is a great way to meet new friends. Once you forge those friendships, that shared hobby or activity will only foster your bond and bring you closer. 9. Offer help or support when needed. If someone you’d like to befriend asks for help or support, consider giving it. One of the qualities of a good friend is offering help and support to others when they need you. This could be anything from helping someone move to listening to the friends you’ve made at work vent. This also goes for the good times. Supporting your friend after they share good news can strengthen the friendship, too. 10. Give it time. These tips on making friends might not get you friends immediately. It takes time to forge a deep relationship with someone.
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