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Article about how to get some friends
Friendship expert share their best tips for forging new friendships and maintaining old ones:
How To Make Friends As An Adult, According To Experts. It’s nearly impossible to listen to the song “Best Friend” by Saweetie and Doja Cat without picturing your bestie—and feeling an instant mood boost. It's not just because the tune is catchy, but because, although romantic relationships and family ties can take a lot of our attention, friendship is the unsung hero of a fulfilling life.
In fact, as you age, friendships become a stronger predictor of your health and happiness than family relationships, according to research by William Chopik, PhD, a social/personality psychologist and Michigan State University associate professor. Friendships influence your well-being so much, that when friends are a source of strain, people report more chronic illnesses, another of Chopik’s studies found. But when a squad is supportive, folks tend to be happier. After all, “friendships are relationships of choice,” says Chopik. “Whereas with family, you may have less flexibility.” And as people get older, researchers theorize that there’s a tendency for them to prioritize meaningful friendships over superficial ones. But despite the positive impact of a solid network on your long-term well-being, building and sustaining friendships often falls to the wayside in favor of external obligations, like career goals and caretaking duties, and internal obstacles, like self-doubt. But while you may not be able to teach an old dog new tricks, you can make new friends at any age—and still maintain your current bestie bonds. Ahead, experts share their best advice on how to handle friendships as an adult. Why Friendships Matter In Adulthood. Yup, having healthy friendships can literally make you healthier, physically and mentally. Just a few benefits: Having positive experiences in social relationships is associated with lower systolic blood pressure while under stress, per a study in Social Psychological and Personality Science . Greater social cohesion is linked to a reduced risk of depression, according to research in The American Journal of Psychiatry . Loneliness is associated with health conditions such as coronary heart disease (CHD) and stroke, and there's a 50 percent increased likelihood of survival for those in strong social relationships, per research in PLOS Medicine . Spending time with your friends “reduces stress,” according to Chopik. How can I make new friends as an adult? If you could use another pal or two, you’re not alone (even if, well, you feel like you are). “Over 60 percent of us report loneliness on a regular basis,” says Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness . “When reaching out to someone, the odds are in your favor that they need it, want it, and would be open to it.” So, where has your next best friend been all this time? Closer than you might think. Turn a coworker into an out-of-office friend. Any successful friendship contains three components: Consistent interaction, vulnerability, and positive emotions, says Nelson. It’s easy to check off that first box with coworkers because consistent interaction is built in. The next step? Vulnerability. “Often, at work, we’re only showing this one very professional side of ourselves,” says psychologist Marisa G. Franco, PhD, a professor and the author of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends. “But vulnerability doesn’t have to be your deepest, darkest secrets. It can be your hobbies, interests, and family life.” As for sparking positive emotions? Ask yourself, “How do I make my coworkers feel? Am I helping? Do I cheer for them? Can they trust I’ll be proud of them?” Nelson says. Naturally, empowering and supporting your coworkers can lead to stronger bonds, but also, “people with friends at work are more engaged, more likely to be retained, and more innovative,” says Franco. Plus, those benefits extend beyond 9-to-5 relationships—caring coworkers inspire people to be supportive to their partner at home, per a study from the University of Bath’s School of Management in England. Job squad goals! Look for good neighbors to become even better friends. Moving to a new place often means starting from scratch: Introducing yourself to neighbors, meeting others at local events, and joining community organizations. And you can't go wrong stopping by your neighbors’ homes with freshly baked cookies or wine, says Franco. This tried-and-true friend-making method will allow you to strike up a convo. Try the insight-and-question method where you “comment on something about your shared circumstance and ask the other person a question about it,” says Franco. Like: I love your doormat, where did you get it?
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