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Article about where to meet men over 40:

Discover 5 expert steps to attract quality men, break the ice, and date confidently — no apps required. How to Meet Men in Real Life in Your 40s: 5 Action Steps to Take Today. Dating in your 40s is tough: Dating apps can seem like they’re filled with men who are “window shopping” but don’t want commitment, and as friends get coupled up you may be left wondering where are all the men?

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As a dating coach with over 15 years experience coaching men and women, I’m going to share with you my top 5 action steps to stop dating from a place of panic and pressure - and start believing that you can meet him. Meet great men in real life with a dating coach for women. The key mindset shift that allows you to see previously invisible options. How you can figure out where men in their 40s are in the real world. Subtle and simple ways to invite him to talk to you (the women who do best with men, know these secrets!) Is dating harder in your 40s, than in your 20s? Let's not sugar coat it: dating in your 40s as a woman isn’t as easy as it was 20 years ago, but it is very possible, with the right tools. Wait, have you been eating onions?" So don’t panic! You absolutely haven’t missed the boat to meet a great partner, but there will be some tangible differences dating now, to 20 years ago. It’s worth acknowledging these differences as I want to give you a realistic strategy to change your dating life, not a bunch of platitudes that get you nowhere: Society has changed. Real life meet-cutes are rarer, and people use dating apps. Dating apps have several pitfalls: They don’t allow you to get a real life feel for someone, and they don’t allow you to show how attractive you are. When you go over a milestone birthday (40, 45) you get less matches as people filter out via age range. However, don’t be disheartened, if this same person met you in real life, they probably wouldn’t care about your exact age. You’ve changed! In your 40s you know yourself better than ever before. This wisdom means you won’t fall into crummy relationships in the same way that you did in the past. This is a good thing, but it does mean you’ll be filtering your options more carefully. (Are you being too picky? We’ll look into this later!) You’re got clearer goals. Whether it’s lifelong commitment, or motherhood, you are laser focused on what you want. During our 20s we tend to explore dating more, and we don’t have a deadline in mind. This is both a good thing (we’re open minded) and a bad thing (we get stuck in dead end relationships) at 40 you’re way out of this “let’s see how things go” phase. Your friendship circles have changed. College perhaps made it easy to meet people. In your 20s perhaps you hit the party scene hard. Then in your 30s your single friends slowly evaporated, and it may have left you feeling like you’re lacking a wingwoman (and those easy social opportunities) to meet men. There’s less available men. There I said it(!) That doesn’t mean there’s no available men, just less. In our 20s far less people are coupled up. Pew Research indicates that 27% of men aged 30-49 are single. Other estimates are more generous. This means we could conservatively say 1 in 4 men in their 40s are single. Of course some of those single men are likely to be lifelong commitment dodgers, others are gay, some you will get the ick as soon as you meet them, but even if the figure was 1 in 5, or 1 in 6, that’s still very doable odds for dating. You only need 1 high quality man! 5 Proven Ways to Meet Men in Real Life. Step 1: Shift into a “HOW can I meet him?” mindset. Most women focus too much on “ where can I meet quality men in real life?” If you’re ​​meeting men in your 40s, I bet you’ve already tried every app - multiple times! You’ve created a profile, been disappointed with the results, deleted the app, then a month later been through the whole cycle all over again. "Is that our Uber driver?" Then in real life, you may simply feel that quality single men in their 40s are invisible - because they’re all taken! Or gay. Without knowing it you’re creating what I call the “scarcity mindset” around dating. You keep finding more and more evidence that it’s impossible to meet someone. Instead I want you to start with the assumption (which, thanks Pew research is also the truth!) that there are available men, who would love a relationship with you. Your job is now 2 fold: You have to both figure out where he’s hiding, and (critically) how to interact with him. Not just so you can get the conversation with him started - we all know modern men can hold back on approaching you - but how to get it started in such a way that he gets that there’s a romantic opportunity with you. Step 2: Ask Yourself Honestly If You’re Creating Enough Opportunities To Meet Men Offline? Look, dating apps are low effort (you sit, you swipe) but equally low reward. Meeting men in the real world takes consistent effort to leave the house, to send the right signals, to keep an open mind… but the results are so worth it! Today I want you to honestly look at your schedule to make dating beyond apps a success: Are you regularly in the habit of trying new co-ed activities (run clubs, dance classes, tennis socials?) Or are you stuck in a social routine that’s comfortable, but filled with the same faces? Are you frequently run off your feet, stressed out, and at the end of a (very) long day just want to stay in? Do you have single friends that you go out with, or are your friendship circles reduced to brunch dates that work around your coupled up friend’s childcare arrangement? Are you comfortable talking to new people, including handsome men, or does the idea of that make you wince? Do you find the thought of sending a flirtatious signal awkward, or are you open to the idea but have no idea how to do it? Are you hopeful that when you truly let go you’ll meet him? (This is true - but help fate to get you there by also switching up your lifestyle!) Amazing First Dates #16: "The Alligator-Infested Swamp" Step 3: Figure Out Where Men in Their 40s Hang Out in Real Life. To make a success of meeting men in the real world you’re going to need to clear time in your schedule and invest in going not only to singles events, but also taking up new hobbies and interests where you’ll naturally cross paths with him. This can be tough, as a single woman in her 40s your life will already be busy which means you might resent spending an evening doing something if you don’t meet a great guy there. However, to make a success of meeting men in the real world, you’re going to need to be speculative. Not all events you’ll go to will be winners, and some won’t feel very “you”, however the act of continually changing up your schedule is really important to get enough real world opportunities. Here’s a quick list of places you’ll want to try out week to week: Singles events. I know, they may feel awkward, they may not have your dream man at them, but as you know everyone’s there for the same reason it can make it easier to break the ice and get started. Start by researching singles and speed dating events near you. Fitness socials. Run clubs, park run, bouldering socials, Latin dance classes, are all fantastic places to meet people. Single men will invest into fitness, and even if that mid-40s guy is no longer Male orientated fitness. Regattas, rowing clubs, golf, BJJ, CrossFit, tennis clubs, paddle and pickleball, rugby (!) Double down on your efforts by choosing fitness pursuits that men gravitate towards. It doesn’t matter if you suck at doing the sport, go once, scope it out! After work lounge bars. The attractive, single man in his 40s, also won’t have tons of single friends to go out with. He’s also (probably) past the stage in his life of going to night clubs, he may have a longer commute home to a house he owns.

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