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Here’s why the experts say no. Learn more about the advantages and disadvantages to dating in your 30s. 21 Expert-Approved Tips for Dating in Your 30s.
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Is 30 too old to be dating? Here’s why the experts say no. Learn more about the advantages and disadvantages to dating in your 30s. Photo: Getty Images/Thomas Barwick. Updated Apr 3, 2024. Related Content. Unsure What To Ask On A First Date? Here Are 42 Ideas. 5 Signs of a Toxic Relationship, Plus How to Leave One, According to Relationship Therapists. Three-Way Friendships Can Turn Toxic—Here’s How To Tell If You Should End Yours. While dating in your 20s may have felt more carefree, dating in your 30s can feel…well, different. “In your 20s, people are more likely to be in the same chapter of life,” says therapist Samantha Bender, LCSW-S.“Once you enter your 30s, however, you’re more likely to know people in a variety of lifestyles and experiences. While some may be never married with no kids, others may have already been divorced and co-parenting,” Bender adds. Experts in This Article. psychologist and therapist at Octave. offline dating coach and founder of Master Offline Dating. online dating expert and digital matchmaker. licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Rize Counseling. clinical psychologist and owner of DML Psychological Services, PLLC, a company that provides consulting services throughout Oakland and Wayne Counties. licensed clinical social worker at Octave. These life differences may seem intimidating and challenging, Bender explains, but they’re not always barriers. Being in your 30s also comes with plenty of advantages that you didn’t have available to you in your 20s! You know more about yourself, the dating pool in your 30s tends to be more serious, and you probably have a better idea about what you’re looking for in a partner. To help you have the best experience dating in your 30s, we asked the experts to answer some of the most asked questions about finding a partner during this decade. Is it normal for a 30-year-old to be single? Yes, it’s totally normal for a 30-year-old to be single. “I am often surprised (and sad!) that I still hear many of my clients in their late 20s and 30s express that they feel ‘behind’ in terms of what they view as social timelines,” adds psychologist and therapist Arezou Costello, PhD. While it’s not uncommon to feel that dating in your 30s may be “too late” you certainly are not “too old” to meet anyone. In fact, dating in your 30s can come with lots of advantages that you didn’t have in your 20s, like more confidence, a fully-developed frontal lobe, and likely, more money. Is 32 too old to start dating again? 32 isn’t too old to start dating again, at all. Wherever you are in your 30s (and beyond), rest assured that there are no deadlines when it comes to dating. “I tell singles in their 30s to take a deep breath and not to focus on their age,” says online dating expert and digital matchmaker Julie Spira. She adds that some of her clients express worry over not being able to start a family in time. However, “love doesn’t have an expiration date.” she explains, adding that “Couples are able to have children later in life or adopt and be fulfilled.” Is dating in your 30s harder? In many ways, dating in your 30s should be easier than dating in your 20s. You now have the advantage of confidence, a more serious dating pool, and the ability to slow down and take your time. On the flip side, you might also encounter specific challenges in your 30s you didn’t have in your 20s, like trouble getting over past relationships, and a lack of built-in structure to meet new people. What are the pros of dating in your 30s? 1. You probably have more confidence. advertisement. In our 30s, we’re more focused on what we think and less on what others think, says psychologist Michele Leno, PhD. You’ve since had a decade plus to get better at dating and to realize what you like, dislike, and want to prioritize about dating and relationships. This can be a huge advantage to dating in your 30s as it allows you to be more upfront about exactly what it is you won’t stand for. Try to channel your inner Jenna Rink: 30, flirty, and thriving. 2. It can feel liberating to be free of timelines. You can take time to slow down in your 30s. “From my own personal experience, I can share that I had the same ‘timeline’ concerns in my late 20s, and once I turned 30 and wasn’t married, I actually felt liberated from that pressure,” says Dr. Costello. So often our own anxieties lead us to believe things are much worse than they are, and often when the Big Bad 30 actually comes to town, we realize: “hey, this actually isn’t bad? It might even be better to be 30?” Dr. Costello notes that once she realized the pressure was off, “[I] felt like I could take my time more to find the right person.” “Once I turned 30 and wasn’t married, I actually felt liberated from that pressure” —Arezou Costello, PhD, psychologist and therapist. 3. The dating pool in your 30s tends to be more serious and play less games. Just as you’re probably more tuned into exactly what it is you want, the same can be said for your potential partners. “People in their 30s generally have more experience dating and may be more aware of what they want from a relationship. They already know what did and didn’t work in past relationships, and hopefully know what they want their futures to look like,” says Bender. “This means they’re more likely to be serious about dating and less likely to ‘play games’ as they search for compatible partners who can complement their dreams, goals, and lifestyles.” What are the cons of dating in your 30s? 1. You might have lingering suspicions from your last relationship or trouble letting go of the past. While your 20s may have been the time to have chaotic Bad Boy relationships, the one downside is that past relationships (of any kind) are likely going to have an impact on future relationships, explains Dr. Leno. “Even if the last one was not so bad, we gather thoughts that our brains cannot seem to shake,” she adds. advertisement. “Embracing the past versus trying to forget about it, will allow you to move on,” Dr. Leno says. “We have an opportunity to learn so much from our last relationship. Avoidance hinders growth and keeps us stuck in the past,” Dr. Leno adds. Instead, face the past and consider the lessons learned so that your past no longer threatens your future and any connections you have yet to make. 2. There isn’t as much built-in structure to meet people. In your 20s you likely had school and were constantly being exposed to new people from those two areas alone. Nowadays, “people tend to be busy with work, are more entrenched in their social group, and may be more isolated due to remote work,” explains Dr. Costello. You can still absolutely meet new people! However, you might have to get more creative about it, like asking friends to set you up, or taking the initiative to join a club or hobby. (Don’t worry, we’ll touch on that more, later). What are the tips for dating in your 30s? Here are some of the best tips from the experts to help you find the best way to meet a partner.
The best way to meet a guy



