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Article about how to make new friends:

There are quite a few ways someone can find themselves in this situation... How to Make Friends And Get a Social Life. Below are my thoughts on how to make friends.

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I'll cover a basic structure first, then go into some overall attitudes and principles I think are important. People who are already good at making friends naturally tend to do most of the things I outline below. The core steps to making friends. Here are the basic things you need to do to make friends. They may seem simplistic, but there can be a lot to each point. People who struggle with their social lives often unintentionally stumble on one or more of them. 1. Find some potential friends. To make friends you first have to find some possible candidates. There are two main ways to do this: Draw on your current contacts. This won't apply if you've moved to a new city and don't know anyone, but often you'll already have the seeds of a social life around you. You don't necessarily have to go out and meet ten strangers. It's often easier to turn existing contacts into full-fledged friends than it is to meet new ones. Acquaintances you're friendly with when you run into each other, but who you never see otherwise. People at work or in your classes who you get along with. Friends of people you know who you've gotten along with in the past. Someone who has shown an interest in being your friend but you never really took up the offer. People you very occasionally hang out with, who you could see more often. Friends you've gradually lost contact with who you could get back in touch with. Meet some new people. Getting more out of your current relationships can go a long way, but it doesn't always work. Sometimes you're at a point where you need to meet entirely new people. Not having easy access to potential new friends is a big barrier for many in creating a social circle. I go into more detail here: Get into hobbies or communities where you'll naturally meet a lot of people you already have something in common with. Even better if it involves an activity that facilitates conversation. Meet people through school or your job. You'll see the same faces day after day, and can get to know them in a more gradual, low-pressure way. Meet one or two people you click with, and then get to know their friends. Overall, meeting new people may require making an effort to get out of your day-to-day routine. If most of your hobbies are solitary you might also need to add some more people-oriented ones to the mix. It never hurts to just to live a full, varied, interesting life that gets you out of the house. You won't meet someone through every last thing you try, but your odds will be better than if you hang around at home all the time. Once you're in a situation with some prospective friends around, you need to strike up conversations and try to get to know them. You won't form a connection with everyone you speak with, but if you chat to enough people you'll find you like and get along with some of them. Once you've done that you could say you're now at the Friendly Acquaintance stage, or that they're context-specific friends (e.g., work "friends"). If you have trouble with successfully meeting, chatting to, and getting to know people, you may want to check out the site's sections on dealing with shyness, fears, and insecurites and making conversation. 2. Invite potential friends to do something with you. Once you've met some people you click with, ask them to hang out and do something outside of the situation you met them in. This is an important, overlooked step in my experience. You can meet all the people you want, and they can think you're great, but if you don't take any action to do something with them in the future, then you won't form many new relationships. People will stay as the guy you talk to in class, or the woman you chat to at the office. This seems basic, but lonelier people often hit a wall here. There may be someone they joke around with at work, or chat to in one of their classes, or play with at a local gaming store, but they won't take the step of inviting them out and taking the relationship to the next level, and beyond the acquaintance or activity partner stage. Depending on how you met them, you may invite someone to hang out fairly quickly or wait a few weeks. For example, if a friend brings one of their buddies along to have drinks with you one day, and you spent four hours together and hit it off from the start, you may be totally comfortable asking them to hang out again right away. On the other hand, if you seem to mesh with someone at your job, but can only have short conversations with them here and there, it may be a month before you feel ready to invite them out. If you're on the shyer side, you might be a little hesitant to invite people out. While it can be scary at first, and there is a risk of rejection, it is something you can get used to. If someone's not interested they'll rarely harshly shoot you down. They'll usually just make a polite excuse about why they can't make it. For all you know it could be legitimate. If you're not sure how to ask someone to do something with you, you could check out this article: Make a habit of getting people's contact information. It's a good idea to get into the habit of getting people's contact info fairly early. You may meet someone interesting, but you can never assume you're going to see them around again anytime soon. Ask for their phone number or email address, or see if they're on whatever social media is big in your area.

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