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15 Effective Ways to Connect With Absolutely Anyone, Anytime. Get past surface-level conversations and forge deeper bonds with these actionable tips for daily social connection. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter.

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Do you ever feel like your relationships are stuck at a surface level? Opening up for more emotional connections satisfies the human need for belonging and acceptance. But getting past those shallow conversations about work or the weather isn’t always easy. Here are 15 science-backed ways to improve your social interactions with better connections. Why are Connections Important? Deep human connections are vital for mental and physical health because they fulfill an innate human need to belong. Connected relationships allow you to open up, be authentic, and feel truly supported by those around you. If your relationships seem to be lacking depth, improving your capacity for connectedness can: Make you feel closer to friends or loved ones Build your emotional support system Increase your social charisma Help you approach conversations in a more meaningful way Expand your social group Improve your professional success. The human need for emotional connection goes back over 300,000 years. Yet, with nearly 8 billion people on Earth and regular social media use, modern humans are more depressed and lonely than ever. Even as people interact in person and online daily, they can often feel isolated or unable to open up to people. And most importantly, connections are scientifically proven to make you happier! For over 80 years, Harvard’s Study of Adult Development repeatedly reveals that the happiest, longest-living people have a thriving support system of interconnected relationships. Data from 148 other studies show that people with stronger social connections are also 50% more likely to survive. So forging better relationships isn’t just vital for your mental health—it directly impacts your physical health! Here is more about the 7 Science-Backed Reasons Why Friends are Important, including how quality friendships can: Make you less likely to get sick Improve your financial success Provide a feeling of safety and belonging Reduce your risk for mental illness. Watch our video below to learn how to start a conversation with anyone, using these killer conversation starters! Why Do I Struggle to Connect With Others? When people deal with abandonment, trauma, toxic relationships, or other emotional damage, they often build walls around their hearts and emotions to protect themselves from further hurt. But sometimes, these dense barriers can do more harm than good. People who fear vulnerability often push people away when a connection gets too deep for comfort. A struggle to connect could be due to the following: Social isolation or loneliness Negative social experiences or social anxiety Shallow relationships issues Attachment styles. Whether you or someone you know is facing these barriers to connection, the tips below will dig into specific communication skills you can use to create a safe space to build relationships. Disclaimer : Overcoming and healing these issues is possible, but we are not mental health professionals. Suppose you think you may be dealing with a mental illness or psychological barrier to connecting with the people in your life. In that case, we highly recommend reaching out to a licensed therapist or counselor. How to Connect With Others: 15 Ways to Deepen Your Social Connections. You can’t force a feeling of connection, but you can do many things to open the door to better relationships. To build deeper, more fulfilling, and emotionally secure connections, try these 15 tips for expanding your social bonds. 1. Dig deeper with unique conversation starters. It’s almost impossible to deepen connections when you ask the same old questions: What do you do? Or Where are you from? Or How are you? These create terrible small talk! Instead, ask better, deeper questions. Worried it might be awkward? Research shows that people tend to overestimate the awkwardness of deep conversations. This misunderstanding can encourage more shallow interactions that are unfulfilling and draining. Instead, try steering the conversation toward a more meaningful direction with a unique conversation starter demonstrating your care. If you are trying to connect with someone new, here are 450 Fun Questions to Ask People in ANY Situation (That Work!). Our favorites are: What skill would you like to master? If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? What has been the highlight of your past week? What do you daydream about? Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? If you are already in a relationship you want to deepen, here are 170 Deep Conversation Starters For Couples For Connection. Our favorites include: If you could describe our relationship in one word, what would it be? What personality trait or quirk did you inherit from one of your parents? Who in your life do you feel the safest with? What makes you feel nostalgic? Do you sing in the shower? Do you feel like I take too much control in our relationship, or do you wish I would be more assertive? What do you do for self-care? How do you see yourself? 2. Make micro-commitments first. A micro-commitment is a baby step that helps you check someone’s character so you can build up to a more profound, long-lasting friendship down the line. Instead of diving off the deep end into a full-fledged BFF relationship right after you meet, micro-commitments help slowly build trust and connection over time. For example, it’s usually best to go on a coffee date before you commit to a fancy dinner date. Similarly, you probably wouldn’t plan a road trip with someone you haven’t ever had dinner with. As you build new friends and form deeper connections, you can make micro-commitments like: Like a post on social media Exchange phone numbers Send a funny GIF Go on a coffee date Watch a video you might like Send them a small gift for their birthday. You can see how people react to these baby steps so that you can work your way up to deeper connections. These micro-commitments help you build “friendship insurance” into your relationships to protect yourself from toxic people and ensure you connect with the right people. You want to ensure there are plenty of successful micro-commitments before you dig into conversations about your past or share intimate details about your life. 3. Do a project or challenge with them. Sociologists have found that people are more likely to connect over a shared goal or mutual effort, even if they are complete strangers! Two peoples’ joint attention on a project or challenge brings them closer together through problem-solving, discussions, and mutual accountability. You can use this social bonding trick to your advantage by starting a project or setting a goal with someone you’d like to connect with. For example: If you notice that your coworker talks about doing yoga, consider finding a 30-day yoga challenge on social media and working to improve your handstands together. If you want to connect more deeply with a family member who enjoys being creative, ask them if they’ll start an art project with you or attend a weekly painting meetup. If you want to bond with someone who likes photography, consider signing up for a class or creating a unique photo project about an interesting topic in your city. If you have a friend who regularly talks about wanting to get in better shape, invite them to create a fitness goal together, such as going to the gym together three times a week or training for a 5K race. A mutual effort to make something happen will help you forge a deeper bond and open the door for many new conversations. 4. Extend invitations. Inviting someone to an event or get-together is a gift! Everyone loves an invitation, even if they can’t attend. Think about invitations as a gift. Don’t be afraid to make the first move. You may worry: What if they say no? What if they reject me? What if they’re too busy? But without invitations, how will you ever connect on a deeper level? The truth is that people love when someone else (hopefully you!) takes the initiative to invite them to hang out. Being invited to an event makes people feel more socially accepted and included in a group. One study found that over 70% of men prefer women to make the first move in the dating world. Inviting someone to your home shows that you care about them, trust them, and want to invest in the relationship.

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