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Want a ride-or-die best friend? Follow these 15 research-backed steps to create meaningful friendships that last a lifetime. Subscribe to our
How to Make a Best Friend: 15 Science-Backed Steps.

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Want a ride-or-die best friend? Follow these 15 research-backed steps to create meaningful friendships that last a lifetime. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter. Building meaningful friendships is a skill you can develop with the right approach—even as adults! Whether you’re starting from scratch or trying to figure out how to make a friend a best friend, this guide will walk you through 15 science-backed steps to help you create the kind of friendship that truly enriches your life. What is a Best Friend? A best friend is a person with whom you share a deep, mutual bond characterized by trust, loyalty, and emotional support. This close companion is someone you confide in, rely on during tough times, and share life’s joys and experiences with. Best friends often understand you on a profound level, offering unconditional acceptance, honest advice, and a sense of belonging. Unlike casual friendships, a best friend relationship is built on consistent communication, shared values, and a commitment to each other’s well-being, making them a vital part of your personal growth and happiness. That’s what makes them so special and important. Best friends provide amazing benefits that more casual connections simply can’t match: Greater resilience to stress: People with close friendships produce less cortisol 1 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34388607/ during stressful situations and recover faster from setbacks. Improved mental health: Those with best friends report lower rates of depression 2 https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/cdev.12905 and anxiety, as their close relationships provide emotional support during difficult times. Longer, healthier lives: Strong social connections 3 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29300743/ may be as important to longevity as quitting smoking or maintaining a healthy weight. Enhanced sense of meaning: Deep friendships give us a sense of belonging and purpose that contributes significantly to our overall well-being. How Long Does It Take to Make a Best Friend? If you’re looking to make a new best friend, it’s important to have realistic expectations about timing. Research 4 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407518761225 suggests it typically takes at least 200 hours of interaction to develop a close friendship. Based on studies of adults and college students, here’s how it breaks down: About 40–60 hours to move from acquaintance to casual friend. Around 80–100 hours to become a regular friend. Over 200 hours to develop a close or even best friend relationship. That might sound like a lot, but every chat, hangout, or shared activity adds up to something amazing! The quality of those interactions matters significantly—meaningful conversations and shared experiences accelerate bonding compared to superficial exchanges. Best friendships usually develop over 6-12 months minimum, though they continue deepening for years. Of course, this timeline varies based on a bunch of factors (e.g., individual personalities, interaction frequency, etc.), but the takeaway remains the same: patience is essential because authentic friendships take time! Now that we have realistic expectations about the friendship timeline, let’s explore exactly how to invest those 200+ hours effectively. 15 Science-Backed Steps to Make a Best Friend. Start with Shared Contexts. While movies might show best friendships forming through dramatic meet-cutes, most close friendships begin in environments where you naturally see the same people repeatedly over time. This proximity principle 5 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378873311000128?via%3Dihub is why so many lasting friendships form during school years—you’re simply around the same people day after day, which creates multiple opportunities for connection. As adults, we need to intentionally create these environments if we want to make a new best friend. Weekly classes (cooking, art, language) Regular volunteer positions Recreational sports leagues Professional organizations Religious or spiritual communities Neighborhood associations. Action Step: Commit to one regular activity where you’ll see the same people at least once a week for three months. Need ideas for things to do where you can consistently meet people? Check out 120 Hobbies for Adults in 2025 (Your Ultimate Guide). Identify Friendship Potential. Not everyone is best friend material for you personally, and that’s perfectly okay. Looking for certain compatibility factors can help you invest your time and emotional energy wisely. Successful friendships often include: Shared values: While you don’t need identical beliefs, science 6 https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224545.1989.9712054 says that alignment on core values creates a foundation for mutual understanding. Complementary traits: Sometimes the most fulfilling friendships include differences that balance each other out—the planner and the spontaneous one, the talker and the listener. Similar sense of humor: Laughter creates powerful bonds and shared references that strengthen friendship. Matching energy levels: If you’re a homebody but your potential friend needs constant activity, the friendship may create tension rather than comfort. When meeting new people, pay attention to how you feel in their presence. Do you feel energized, understood, and comfortable being yourself? Or do you feel drained, guarded, or like you’re performing? Pro Tip: After spending time with someone new, take a moment for a quick mental check-in. Ask yourself: “Did I feel more myself or less myself around this person?” Make Consistent Micro-Connections. Remember the research suggesting it takes approximately 50 hours of shared time to move from acquaintance to casual friend, 90 hours to become a friend, and 200+ hours to develop a close friendship? Building a best friendship requires accumulating many small positive interactions over time. Rather than putting pressure on big, elaborate hangouts, focus on creating regular, brief connections: Send a quick text about something that reminded you of them Share an article or meme related to their interests Comment thoughtfully on their social media posts Stop by their desk for a five-minute chat Meet for a quick coffee rather than a lengthy dinner. These micro-connections add up over time, creating a foundation of familiarity and comfort that’s essential for deeper friendship. Action Step: Create a reminder in your calendar to prompt you to reach out to potential close friends at least once a week with a small touchpoint that shows you’re thinking of them. Pro Tip: Making friends (and potentially a best friend) is a lot easier when you can captivate everyone in the room! Find out how with my best-selling book: Succeed with People. Master the laws of human behavior and get along with anyone. Increase your influence, impact, and success. Register below to get your FREE chapter of Captivate. Practice Proactive Invitation. One of the biggest barriers to friendship is simply waiting for the other person to make the first move. While fear of rejection is natural, people generally underestimate how positively others will respond to friendship overtures or compliments 7 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167220949003 . When it comes to learning how to make a friend a best friend, someone needs to take the initiative—and it might as well be you.

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