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Article about rules of dating texting:

The Dos and Don’ts of Texting Someone You Want to Date. Scoring the phone number of someone you’re interested in feels like a major victory, and it is. But it’s also just the beginning.

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Once you’ve got that number in hand, you have to figure out what to actually text the person, and when, and how often. So no pressure, but your entire romantic future here could be determined by your first few text messages—especially right now, when digital communications are more commonplace (and safer) than in-person interaction. Here’s the best way to approach texting someone you want to date, according to the experts. Don’t ‘wait X days to reach out’ The first text is always the hardest. How long do you wait to message that cute guy from the gym? If you ask around, some people will tell you to wait for “this many days” before you make contact, but that strategy is flat-out silly. Dating columnist Dr. Nerdlove told us that you should always touch base sooner rather than later. If you don’t text them relatively soon (or sit around hoping for them to text you first), a couple things can happen: that cute guy at the gym will either forget about you and that he gave you his number at all, or he’ll assume you’re not actually interested. Nerdlove recommends you text them in the same day or night to keep the emotional momentum going and to solidify yourself in their memory. You’ll become “that cute girl from the gym” instead of “some girl that I guess I talked to other day?” What you say in your first text message is important (more on that later), but it isn’t nearly as important as you actually reaching out. Don’t be afraid of the initial text message. As online dating coach Patrick King explains, they’ve already given you their number because there is some mutual attraction there, so you don’t have to stress as much about the possibility of rejection. When you do send that first text, however, Regina Lynn, the author of The Sexual Revolution 2.0 , suggests you follow the same etiquette as phone calls. Don’t text him at odd hours, like late at night or really early in the morning. Texting the cute guy from the gym when he’s trying to sleep will turn that “yay she’s texting me!” moment into “why is that girl waking me up?” Not a great first impression. You May Also Like. Don’t ever just text ‘Hey/Hi/Hello’ This was by far the most common advice you’ll find: don’t just text someone “hey.” In fact, if you browse some online dating profiles you’ll probably find people sharing the same advice. While writing the book Modern Romance , comedian Aziz Ansari and Dr. Eric Klinenberg, a professor of sociology at New York University, organized hundreds of focus groups to decipher the modern dating landscape. When they asked the focus groups about their personal texts, they found that participants unanimously agreed that the “hey” text is a bad idea. As Ansari and Dr. Klinenberg explain, the “hey” text seems like a perfectly harmless message to send, but that one word says a lot more than you realize. It’s generic, dull, and lazy. It makes the recipient feel like they’re not very special or important, and it makes you as the sender seem the same way. No information is being shared, nothing is being asked of the recipient, and it’s incredibly easy to ignore. A good first text will explain who you are and reference your previous interaction in some way. Focus your early texts on making plans. After you’ve made contact, focus your early text conversations on making plans. It’s exciting when that cute girl from OkCupid seems way into texting you, but as Christine Hassler, the author of 20-Something, 20-Everything , suggests, too much pre-date texting smothers any spark you might have on your actual first date: That can make you over-think what you say and do on the date, instead of being your natural self. It’s like you’re on your second date in terms of info, but you first date in terms of physical chemistry, which can make things awkward. Since our whole world is so instant now, people can craft entire personas through their slew of texts. . . by the time you meet your partner for an actual date, you’ve built up this whole image and fantasy in your head of who you think they are, and then they turn out to be totally different. While making plans, be as direct as possible. During their focus groups, Ansari and Dr. Klinenberg also noticed a texting trend they dubbed the “secretary problem,” where potential couples would spend so much time trying to “pencil each other in” they would burn out and the spark would fizzle before the first meetup. We asked Vanessa Marin, a licensed marriage and family therapist and a former Lifehacker contributor, how to avoid the “secretary problem,” and she said it’s all about being specific: Make specific plans.

Texting when dating rules

Dating and texting rules

Rules of dating texting