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Article about is it bad to date someone older than you:

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From Billie Eilish to Yung Gravy to Leonardo DiCaprio, when is a big age gap in a relationship unhealthy or problematic? Is there anything wrong with dating someone a lot older than you? If you're dating someone a lot older than you, you've probably had to deal with friends making jokes, people asking is that your dad/mum?" or watching strangers raise their eyebrows when you introduce them as your partner.

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Even though relationships with large age gaps have existed forever, there's still a lot of stigma and taboo that surrounds them. All you have to do is look at the way people write and talk about celebrities, like Billie Eilish (20) right now rumoured to be dating Jesse Ruthford (31), Florence Pugh (26) recently with Zach Braff (47), Kim Kardasian (41) and Pete Davidson (28), Harry Styles (28) and Olivia Wilde (38), Yung Gravy (26) with Addison Raye's Mum Sheri Easterling (43), and Leonardo Dicaprio (47) with anyone under the age of 25. When we look at the cultural conversation around relationships with big age gaps, there's usually two main judgements. The first one is the concern that the younger person is being exploited by the older partner, especially when there's money, status, sex and power involved. And the second is that the older partner (usually a man) is dating someone younger (usually a woman) because they value 'youth and beauty' (and therefore contributing to the toxic idea that women are less valuable as they age, aka the backlash against Leonardo DiCaprio or Taylor Swift's All Too Well - 10 minute version ). While there's relationships with large age gaps that are exploitative (which we'll chat about), dating someone a lot older than you isn't necessarily problematic, and for some people it can actually have a lot of positive benefits. Here's some expert advice on what you need to consider when it comes to your older bae. Does age difference matter in relationships? A lot of people assume that couples who have a large age gap are more likely to have an 'unsuccessful relationship' (whatever that means) but according to Associate Professor Gery Karantzas, from the School of Psychology at Deakin University, "age doesn't matter." "The success of a relationship depends on the extent to which partners share similar values, beliefs and goals about their relationship, support each other in achieving personal goals, foster relationship commitment, trust and intimacy, and resolve problems in constructive ways. These factors have little do with age. So the reality is, while an age gap may bring about some challenges for couples, so long as couples work at their relationship, age should be no barrier." So if age doesn't matter in relationships (if it's happy, healthy and consensual) what can cause a couple with a large age gap to break up? It's usually the people around you, making those 'cradle snatcher/cougar/gold digger/daddy/mummy issues' jokes. Societies judgement. As humans, we're social beings, we're hard-wired to form connections, so because there's still a lot of stigma and taboo around couples with large age gaps, if you feel like you're being judged and discriminated against by the people around you, Gery says it's going to have an impact on the relationship. "If you've got huge judgement and huge pressures from those around you, who are supposed to love you dearly, but nevertheless have significant issues around the age gap, it can cause real stress that spills over into the relationship. And if it's not strong enough to weather the storm, the relationship can end." If you feel like you're dealing with some judgement from the people around you right now for your relo, sex and relationship therapist Lauren Bradley recommends sharing with your loved ones how stable and healthy your relationship is. "Talk about the other factors within your relationship that are more important than age, like communication, your ability to fight fair, the strong connection that you have, the shared value system that you have together, all of these things are far more powerful for maintaining a long term relationship than what age you have on your driver's licence". Is there a power imbalance? Since the #MeToo movement, people have been looking at relationships with large age gaps under scrutiny, because we're more aware of exploitation and power at play. So Lauren says if you're with an older partner, it's worth thinking about whether there's a power imbalance. "Sometimes age can come with power and authority and in those circumstances, that can set up a dynamic where you have an unequal and unfair relationship, which can feel coercive, and in some cases somewhat abusive, or a misuse of power." If you're wondering about the power dynamics in your relationship, Lauren says some things to consider are whether you feel any unease within the relationship because "these niggles are what prompt us to check in on how we feel and navigate any potential changes we need." "Perhaps the age difference is creating a power imbalance between who has their needs met most, or who takes the lead on major life decisions. Perhaps you don't feel like you fit with the rest of their life or they don't fit in with yours, leaving you feeling isolated or cut off from your own community and interests." Lauren says its worth asking them what they value about you, and see if it matches up with your own beliefs about yourself and who you want to be within a relationship. "Observe their world and other relationships for cues on whether they establish healthy relationships with other people. If you feel undervalued, disrespected, taken for granted, or used, these cues may be signs you need to explore whether this relationship is authentic and healthy for you or not." Why consent is so important. Maria (F, 22) told The Hook Up when she was 16 years old, she met an older guy, Dan (26), when she went on exchange and was staying at a student dorm. She liked him straight away, and the feelings were mutual. "We were hitting it off, flirting a little bit. And I was like, 'wow this is so exciting.' I didn't care about his age.

Is it bad to date someone older than you