Hello, Guest!

Article about i prefer older men:

The Curse of an Attraction to Older Gay Men. Thomas Gass, a dentist in California, has survived the curse—twice. The curse?

Click here for I prefer older men

Gass is a gay man whose only sexual attraction is to men significantly older than he is. Gass lost his first partner, 28 years his senior, through the slowly deteriorating effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease after they had been together for 13 years. After recovering from his grief, he found love again with a man 18 years older but endured another tragic loss when his second partner died of pancreatic cancer after they had spent 17 years together. Still a relatively young man, Gass might wonder whether or not to take a chance on loving an older man again. For him, however, the choice is between an older man or no man at all. Gass and his friends—all of whom had lost older life partners—have labeled their abiding sexual attraction “the curse of being attracted to older men.” I began to study same-sex relationships with age disparities while conducting research for my book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight. Gass and I started to correspond after he and his friends had read and discussed my essay, “Age as a Factor in Sexual Orientation and Attraction.” He wrote that in their discussion, some common themes emerged: Chester McLemore and Dr. Tom Gass. Source: Dr. Tom Gass, used with permission. 1. The younger men have more interest in sports than their partners and their gay peers who are attracted to men their own age. 2. The younger men tend to be more masculine than their gay peers who are attracted to men their own age. 3. The younger men prefer older men with endomorphic bodies (belly fat, strong bones, and sturdy thighs). While these observations are purely anecdotal and subjective, the comments resonated with some of my own observations. I would add another: 4. The younger man has a high need to please others. A young man once said to me, “I like men with rounded corners, they have all their sharp edges worn off.” It struck me as being true, both literally and metaphorically. Another younger man commented, “I like a man with a bit of a belly so I have somewhere to lay my head.” This parallels the same fascination that many heterosexual men have for women's breasts. The younger men I interviewed seemed drawn to men freed from the tyranny of testosterone, expressing their greater attraction to wisdom, stability, commitment, experience, and maturity. Dr. Tom Gass and Chester McLemore. Source: Dr. Tom Gass, used with permission. Gass went on to say that these relationships are often misunderstood, perhaps especially by the LGBTQ community. He wrote, “I struggle more to explain my attraction to older gay men to my gay friends than I do to my straight friends.” It's difficult to explain when you don't understand it yourself. What defines “age disparity in relationships”? An old rule of thumb of unknown origins prescribes, “Never date anyone less than half your age plus seven.” No one has collected reliable statistics, but age disparity seems to occur more frequently in gay relationships than in heterosexual ones. In 2016, the New York Times published an opinion piece by former Pennsylvania Senator Harris Wofford, who at 90 years old was planning to marry Matthew Charlton, his 40-year-old lover, whom he had been together with for 15 years. Senator Wofford had spent nearly half a century married to his wife, Clare, who died when they were both almost 70. Writing about Matthew, Wofford said, “To some, our bond is entirely natural, to others it comes as a strange surprise,” and this tension is reflected in the comments posted about the essay. The most common sentiment was “OMG,” with a running theme of “There’s no fool like an old fool.” While a 50-year age difference is an outlier, other well-known May-December couples have captured the public’s attention: the late neurologist and author Oliver Sacks, M.D., and writer Bill Hayes (27-year difference in age), British-American author Christopher Isherwood and Don Bachardy (30-year difference), and British actor Stephen Fry and Elliot Spencer (30-year difference). Various derogatory labels are used to describe such couples: sugar daddy, gold digger, trophy husband, or boy-toy. But in the case of a celebrity, the tabloid headlines these labels may be used in sensationalistic ways, or even include more virulently homophobic names like pedophile and predatory pervert. THE BASICS. The Science of Mating Take our Are You a Good First Date? Find a therapist near me. Although atypical, are these relationships abnormal? Senator Wofford wrote that although some people are skeptical about his relationship, “most soon see the strength of our feelings and our devotion to each other.” Chris MacLellan and Richard Schiffer. Source: Chris MacLellan, used with permission. For the younger partner, one characteristic of “the curse” is that these relationships often end too soon. In many cases, the relationship involves dedicated caregiving, as so poignantly described in “In Sickness and in Health: A Couple’s Final Journey,” a Pulitzer Prize-winning story about Chris MacLellan’s caring for his partner, Richard Schiffer (26-year difference,) who died slowly of esophageal cancer. Although one comment on Senator Wofford’s essay said about the younger partner, “He opted for custodial work with a senior citizen,” many of these younger men put their own lives on hold to become heavily invested caregivers that heterosexual couples can only envy. Another part of the curse, though, is the prejudice and misunderstanding that these couples face, often receiving their greatest criticism from members of their own LGBTQ community. (Even the older partner initially may doubt the seriousness of the younger man's interest.) According to Gass, the most tiresome rationalization is that “the only logical explanation is money.” Or less delicately, “Is it romance or adoption?” Comments about money are often central—for example, a way to inherit untaxed assets or the need for a good prenup for the children’s sake. In fact, however, many of the younger men are more independent and financially secure than their older partners, and they resent the implications that surround their motivations. Another part of the curse is that these relationships are endlessly analyzed for “daddy issues.” Mating Essential Reads.

I prefer older man

I prefer older guys

I prefer older men