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Article about dating someone twenty years older:

Age gap relationships are nothing new — a 2022 study showed that in 40% of opposite-sex marriages, the husband was, on average, three years older than his wife. However, some age gaps are MUCH wider, with one partner being several decades older than the other. But, with these age-gap" relationships, there are often discussions of power imbalances and general inappropriateness.

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Westend61 / Getty Images/Westend61. So when Redditor u/anontar4 asked the r/AskWomen community, "Hey ladies, to those of you who’ve dated someone 20 years older- how did it go, and what was your experience?" women were willing to share how a massive age gap impacted their romantic relationships (for better or worse). Without further ado, here are 15 of their most enlightening stories: 1. "I was 19. He told me he was 24, but as I later learned, he was 36. I couldn’t tell because he was hot, muscular, and looked VERY young for his age. To convince me he was 12 years younger, he had to lie about many other aspects of his life. After a few months, I discovered the truth and dumped him." Mixmike / Getty Images. "After we broke up, he began dating a 16-year-old! I told her and her parents the truth, but they ignored me — those two are still together." 2. "I was 26, he was 47. We connected intellectually, and the intimacy was great. Still, he tried to be controlling and dominating and called me 'difficult' if I didn't go along with what he wanted." "He would try to pull the 'I'm older and wiser' card about nearly every subject — including those in which I had expertise and he did not. Despite being physically older, he was emotionally immature. He would refuse to discuss any issue between us and insisted on talking about only pleasant things and moving forward. When I called him out on his awful behavior, he would pout and say he was sorry, like a toddler. I ended it after five months." 3. "I was 23, he was 46. Our relationship was mostly good, so I married him." 'I think it helped that neither of us were cool — by that, I mean that nerds are ageless. If you're the type of person to geek out over movie trivia, the etymology of a particular word, or 19th-century authors, the age of your fellow geek doesn't matter. I lost him far too young, and I still miss him." 4. "He was my sugar daddy. He paid me decently and was respectful and kind. Still, he eventually broke up with me because he couldn’t handle his jealousy about me having other partners (even though both of us were polyamorous and had other partners at the time, which we had both agreed was fine)." Burke/Triolo Productions / Getty Images. "I’ve learned that I have difficulty connecting with men over 40 because they don’t tend to ask questions and never act engaged (in my experience). They also remind me of my dad, which brings many discomforts." 5. "I was 19, and he was 35 — not exactly 20 years older, but close! He was definitely into me because I was so young, and I tried to pretend that wasn’t the case, but it became very apparent. We were never 'official' because of his immaturity — he always complained about me being the immature one, even though I was practically still a child." "He was a gamer and spent most of his time doing that — it was more important than our relationship in his eyes, if I got upset about anything, it was always because of my age. HE wanted ME first, mind you. Now I’m 23, and I would still like to date someone a bit older since boys my age are terrible, but I don’t want to date someone who only likes me because I’m young." 6. "If they're sincere, you will always be their little darling." "Our age gap wasn't 20 years —I was 23, he was 36, but he was the love of my life. Our marriage didn't end happily ever after, but he was the love of my life, regardless. We made love daily, and he satisfied me every time. I spent 10 years of my life with him, but sadly, we went our separate ways — mostly because we didn't 'grow' together." 7. "I started dating significantly older men in my late 20s (I was 28, he was 67). Honestly, the relationship was wholesome and a much-needed reprieve from my hectic life at the time." PixelsEffect / Getty Images. "He was in great shape, charismatic, grounded, and treated me like a queen. I had moved back home and was struggling to figure out my next move in a toxic family environment. I ended up moving away, but he and I are still on good terms. Being mature is a choice, just as staying young at heart is. The age gap — coupled with us both being aware this was a transition stage for me — made us appreciate the present. I’ve since dated other older men (mid-50s) but have dialed it back because I noticed they were planning much further in the future than I was comfortable with, and I didn’t want to string them along. Now, I mostly date men who are 38-50 because I like them a little weathered, but not so much that I can’t take the relationship seriously — anything older and I can’t help but think, 'He could die at any moment, don’t get attached.'" 8. "My husband and I got together when I was 20 and he was 40 — we have been together for 16 years. There are definitely some generational differences, but we were (and still are) eager to learn about each other’s experiences. There have been some tough times, but overall, I don’t regret it, and we are still very much in love." "We are both tattoo artists and introverts, we regularly go out on dates. We spend time with friends and family, but like I said, we are both introverts, so parallel time is bonding time for us, and we prioritize that. We have very similar tastes and the same religious beliefs. He’s my person and my safe space, no one has ever loved me the way he does, so when he reaches the age where he’s decrepit, I’ll be there to take care of him. He has taken care of me at my worst points, and his family has been better to me than my own." 9. "I went on a date with a guy about 20 years older than me, and honestly, it was such a different vibe from dating guys my age. He picked a nice restaurant, made a reservation, and didn’t spend half the night on his phone, which was refreshing." "Conversation flowed easily, he had a ton of life experience and cool stories to share, and he actually listened instead of waiting for his turn to talk. The only thing that felt a little weird was when the topic of future plans came up. He talked about retirement and settling down somewhere quiet while I was still figuring out where I wanted to travel next and what I wanted to do long-term — it made me wonder if our timelines would ever really match up. Overall, it was a fun experience, and I could definitely see the appeal of dating someone older, but it also made me think about whether we would want the same things in the long run." 10. "In my 20s, I dated men in their 30s and early 40s. Now that I’m 36, I’m dating men between 32-42. It’s weird, I don’t know what the men saw in me besides my beauty and positive energy. I eventually married a man who was only two years older than me and loved it, but he passed away when he was 33 years old. Now, as a 36-year-old widow, I am dating a 41-year-old, and we get along really well." RgStudio / Getty Images. "I think being with someone around the same age makes a big difference when it comes to maturity, life stages, and energy levels. In my 20s, I would never have been able to fathom all these things life brings. I suspect the older men who dated me when I was in my 20s were just grasping for their lost youth. I was attracted to the power, the stability, and the kind of knowledge they had, but now that I’m their peer? Not so much. I bring my own set of skills and knowledge to the table — I am the table, and I am the feast. I don’t compete with anyone, and I don’t have nearly as much envy or jealousy as I did in my 20s. Being confident in my own skin and own capabilities has attracted better men." 11. "My partner is 24 years older than me, and it's been awesome. He's my best friend, and I couldn't imagine life without him.

Dating someone twenty years older