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Article about fat and looking for love:
The New York Times
If that’s how our friends saw us, I couldn’t bear it. Were We the ‘Fat Couple’? If that’s how our friends saw us, I couldn’t bear it.
Share full article. By Courtenay Hameister. Dating Jason was such a relief. At 43, I had been in love only once before with a man who sat in the passenger seat of my car (when I was much thinner than I am today) and poked his finger into my splayed thigh, as if to say, “You’re going to take care of that, right?” Jason would never do that, mostly because he was kind and empathetic and not a garbage person. But also because he was fat like me. I had worked with him years before, during which there was just a skosh of mild flirting that later led to spicy flirting. Fun Jason fact: He hated bananas. If I ever wanted to see fear in his eyes, I could peel a banana and give chase, brandishing it like a dull, sweet sword. Even so, as he wooed me, he baked me the most luscious banana cream pie of my life, with a layer of chocolate ganache between the graham cracker crust and the gooey banana filling. This man touched a banana for me — repeatedly — and it meant a lot. Jason was also the first man I dated whose presence didn’t trigger my body shame. We both had internalized fat shame, but when we were alone together, it was as if we canceled each other’s out. We would order wings and chili cheese fries and watch two movies in one night. I would sit beside him and not obsess about what my double (or triple) chins looked like. When we spooned in bed, he could rest his hand soundly on my ample belly without me having to subtly nudge it to a less problematic area. Because between the two of us, I was the one closer to a “straight-size body.” And I do mean closer, not close. Since college, I have had an “obese” to “morbidly obese” body mass index — a measure that is at best inaccurate and at worst racist. Created by a Belgian mathematician, its average is based on the height and weight of white European men. Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.
Fat and looking for love
